What Happens When a Narcissist Is Exposed? + What To Do

Are you suspecting a narcissist in your life? Want to understand the repercussions of exposing their true self?

This article delves into the reactions and tactics a narcissist might use when their facade is shattered.

From denial to gaslighting, we cover everything you need to know about what happens when a narcissist is exposed.

Get ready for an informative journey as we uncover the mind of a narcissist. Don’t miss out on this must-read for anyone affected by a narcissist’s deceit.

What to expect when a narcissist is exposed

This article will explore the consequences of exposing a narcissist and how to do it.

We’ll discuss the reactions of a narcissist when they are exposed and its impact on their relationships and reputation.

It also includes strategies for exposing a narcissist and how to protect yourself from further manipulation.

How do you expose a narcissist? 

Before answering the question about what happens when you expose a narcissist, let’s take a step back. How do you expose a narcissist?

There are many ways we can expose narcissists for who they really are and what they do behind closed doors (or sometimes even publicly).

Tip #1: Gain evidence and document events

One crucial step is to gather evidence and document events as they happen. Keep a notebook or journal to record objective and neutral accounts of interactions with the narcissist. This can serve as valuable evidence when you decide to confront them.

When documenting the events, it’s essential to be specific and detail-oriented, noting each interaction’s date, time, and context.

Also, try to include any relevant quotes or statements made by the narcissist and any actions they took that were problematic. This can provide a clear picture of their behavior and make it harder for them to deny or twist the truth.

It’s also helpful to share your evidence with a trusted friend or family member who can provide support and validation as you expose the narcissist. This can also help you to have someone to talk to and validate your feelings.

Tip #2: Avoid emotional arguments

a narcissist arguing with a woman

Even if they disregard the truth, logic and facts are your only sensible weapon against narcissists. The narcissist may disagree with your reasoning, but rational people won’t. 

Get in the habit of writing down things as they happen. Keep it objective and neutral, and keep this notebook in a secure place. Narcissists thrive on gaslighting the people around them- they can do a great job convincing you that you don’t remember things correctly or are acting dramatically. 

By writing it down, you are documenting the events in real-time. This information can help you when you expose them. Moreover, sticking to logic and facts removes the emotional element from your discussion. It’s no longer about your subjective experience- it’s about confronting reality.

Tip #3: Use the single-question test

Did you know there is an easy and quick way to expose a narcissist? 

According to a recent study1Brad J. Bushman (2014) Development and Validation of the Single Item Narcissism Scale (SINS), the quickest way to tell if someone is a narcissist is to ask them. Researchers found that a single question, “To what extent do you agree with this statement: I am a narcissist” (with a definition provided), was nearly as accurate at identifying narcissists as a commonly used 40-item diagnostic test.

The best part? Narcissists have no problem admitting they are one. So, ask them next time you’re wondering if that colleague or romantic interest is a bit too self-absorbed.

The study also found that people who scored high on the Single Item Narcissism Scale (SINS) also had other traits associated with narcissism, such as low empathy, less committed relationships, a preference for non-social rewards, higher aggression and even a belief that they should be paid more than their colleagues.

Tip #4: Trigger narcissistic Rage

Another way to expose a narcissist is to trigger their narcissistic behavior intentionally and then not take it back. Narcissists have a strong need to maintain control and power over others, and they can become easily threatened when their false image is challenged. 

By intentionally saying something that triggers their narcissistic behavior, you can observe how they react and use that as evidence of their true nature. 

For example, you could make a comment or suggestion that threatens their sense of superiority or challenges their authority. This could be like disagreeing with their opinion, pointing out a flaw in their plan, or questioning their decision-making. It’s important to have someone witness their reaction, as they may lash out or try to manipulate the situation to their advantage.

How do narcissists react when exposed?

You’ve probably read articles about narcissists in your life, but now you want to know what happens when they’re exposed. 

You know you need to expose them and get out of the relationship, but now you’re wondering, “What if it goes wrong?”

Well, here’s what happens when a narcissist is exposed:

#1: They deny everything

a man professing signs of denial

A narcissist will always deny any wrongdoing or mistreatment, regardless of how obvious it is to everyone else. 

Even if they are caught red-handed doing something horrible, they’ll find some way to pin the blame on someone else (and usually someone else who isn’t around anymore).

#2: They cry and makeup excuses

If they’re crying and making excuses for why they did what they did, then this means one thing: denial. Narcissists do not take responsibility for their actions; they blame others for their mistakes and misdeeds.

They may send text messages or emails to you saying sorry or that they love you. If they do this, it is likely because they want something from you.

#3: They put on a show 

The first thing that happens when a narcissist is exposed is that they will put on a show. They will act like they are hurt, confused, and shocked. 

They will tell you how much they care about you and want to be with you. May even get angry at the person who exposed them.

#4: They leave you alone 

an alone woman looking at sunlight and trees

When a narcissist has been exposed, their initial reaction may be to lash out and defend their false image.

If you’re lucky, they’ll lash out and leave you alone, but in many cases, they will try to maintain control and keep the relationship going. In this case, it’s essential to protect yourself immediately by cutting off all contact with them. It means not responding to phone calls, messages, or emails and avoiding social gatherings or events where they may be present.

#5: They start gaslighting you 

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person makes the victim doubt their memory, perception, or sanity. Narcissists are known to use this tactic as a way to maintain control and power over their victims, especially when they are exposed or challenged.

When a narcissist is exposed, they may feel threatened and defensive. They may try to deny their behavior, blame others, or make it seem like the victim is the one with the problem.

They may also try to manipulate and gaslight the victim, making them doubt their perception of the situation. This can make it harder for the victim to leave the relationship or to get others to believe their story.

#6: They may try to turn others against you

Narcissists are known to be master manipulators, and when they have been exposed, they may try to turn others against you to discredit your accusations. 

They may use lies, deceit, and twisted versions of the truth to sway others. They may also try to further isolate you from your friends and family to undermine your credibility.

#7: They may try to undermine your credibility and reputation

a woman having concerned look while people behind her laugh at her

Narcissists often have a false image to maintain; when exposed, they will do whatever it takes to preserve it. A narcissist may try to undermine your credibility and reputation by spreading lies and rumors or making false accusations against you. Also, try to sabotage your relationships and career opportunities. 

They may also try to make you look bad by blaming you or by saying you are the one who has a problem. They may make you look crazy or unstable and make sure others do not believe you.

#8: They may try to make you feel guilty

Narcissists often have a tendency to project their faults and mistakes onto others. When exposed, they may try to make you feel guilty or blame you for their actions. They may use manipulation tactics such as gaslighting and emotional blackmail to make you doubt yourself and take responsibility for things that aren’t your fault. 

They may also use your guilt to control and manipulate you further, making you feel responsible for maintaining the relationship and their image.

What happens when a narcissist knows you figured them out?

When a narcissist is exposed, they may react in several ways. Denying the accusations, insisting that you are lying and that their version of events is the truth. They may try to retaliate by exposing your secrets or manipulating the story to make you look bad.

They may also play the victim, acknowledging their wrongdoings but providing excuses for their behavior and shifting the blame onto others. In some cases, they may even apologize and make promises to change, but this change is often short-lived, and they will return to their usual tactics once they regain their power and control.

It’s essential to be aware of the potential for retaliation and Narcissistic Rage when exposing a narcissist. They may manipulate others to turn against you or undermine your credibility. It’s also important to be prepared for their attempt to play the victim and shift the blame.

What happens when you publicly expose a narcissist?

Exposing a narcissist publicly can be a dangerous and potentially harmful endeavor. Narcissists have an intense need to maintain their image and control over those around them, and being exposed can threaten that sense of control. As a result, they may lash out and seek revenge against the person who exposed them. This could include spreading rumors, trying to ruin their reputation, and potentially even taking legal action. It’s essential to consider the potential consequences before attempting to expose a narcissist and to weigh the risks and benefits of going public with any information. It’s advisable to seek professional help if you are considering this action.

Is it a good idea to expose a narcissist?

a sign saying "exposed"

Whether or not it is a good idea to expose a narcissist depends on the situation and the specific circumstances. It may be worth considering if exposing the narcissist will benefit you and help you move on from the situation. 

However, it’s also important to weigh the potential risks and consequences. Exposing a narcissist can lead to retaliation, manipulation, and emotional distress. Additionally, it’s essential to consider if it’s necessary and if you can avoid it. If you are in a position where you don’t have to expose them, it’s better not to do it.

It’s essential to remember that exposing a narcissist is not a guaranteed solution to the problem. Narcissists tend to manipulate and twist the truth, and they may deny their actions or shift the blame onto you. They may also try to play the victim and garner sympathy from others.

It’s essential to have a clear plan and be prepared for the potential fallout before exposing a narcissist. It’s also important to have a support system and to take care of yourself emotionally before and after the exposure.

Will a narcissist forgive someone who exposes them?

Will the narcissist forgive you if you expose them? It’s not likely that a narcissist will forgive someone who exposes them. 

They may try to manipulate the situation to make the person who exposed them feel guilty and ashamed. Even uses gaslighting tactics to make them question their truth. 

It’s important to consider if exposing a narcissist will benefit you before taking action. Be prepared for the potential backlash from the narcissist.

Final Thoughts

You have received an answer to the question: ‘what happens when a narcissist is exposed.’ 

Exposing a narcissist can be challenging and emotional, but it’s important to remember that it’s not about changing the narcissist. 

It’s about protecting yourself and reclaiming your power. It’s essential to have a support system in place and to be prepared for the potential backlash from the narcissist, whether denial, retaliation, or manipulation. 

Remember to focus on your well-being and self-care during this process. It’s also important to understand that exposing a narcissist won’t necessarily change them, but it can help you to regain control of your life and move forward.

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