Are you tired of dating a guy who can’t make up his mind?
You like him a lot and see the potential for a future together. But he prioritizes his friends, doesn’t define the relationship, and still sees other women.
This article lists 12 signs that the guy you’re seeing doesn’t know what he wants. It also gives you guidance on what you should do next.
How do you tell if a guy doesn’t know what he wants?
Being with someone indecisive about their feelings can be draining and confusing.
If your guy is affectionate and attentive when he’s with you but lacks commitment and frequently spends time with friends instead. It raises questions about his level of interest in you and the relationship.
This inconsistent behavior can make you unsure where you stand and wonder if you have a future with him.
To determine if he genuinely invests, look for signs that indicate a lack of serious intent. Please keep reading to know the signs of a guy who doesn’t know what he wants.
#1: Hides Your Relationship from Others
Hiding your relationship from others can be a significant red flag that the guy you’re with doesn’t know what he wants.
Suppose he’s uncomfortable introducing you to his friends and family or publicly acknowledging your relationship. He needs to be more fully committed and confident in what you two have together.
This lack of transparency can also make you feel unvalued and unimportant in your life.
#2: Seeing Other Women Alongside You
When a man sees other women alongside you, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship. This behavior shows that he is not fully committed to you and is still exploring other options.
This can be confusing and bad for you, creating an uncertain and unstable environment. It is essential for both partners in a relationship to be on the same page and clearly understand their commitment to each other.
It’s essential to assess whether that is something you are comfortable with. An open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and expectations in the relationship may be a good idea.
#3: Lacks Effort in the Relationship
When it comes to relationships, the effort is crucial. If your partner lacks action, it may indicate that he does not fully invest in the relationship.
This can take many forms, from neglecting to plan dates or spending quality time together and failing to make an effort to communicate or address issues in the relationship.
If your partner is not putting in the effort, it may be a sign that they don’t see the relationship as a priority or need to know what they want from it.
#4: He Never Sets Anything Up With You
This is an obvious sign a guy doesn’t know what he wants.
Regarding relationships, making plans and spending quality time together are essential for building a solid bond.
If the guy you see never sets anything up with you, it could be a sign that he needs to know what he wants.
It could be a lack of interest, or he might need clarification about the future of your relationship. Should he take the initiative to plan dates, outings, or special moments with you? It may indicate that he’s not fully committed to the relationship.
#5: Undefined Relationship Status
One of the critical signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship is an undefined relationship status.
This can be a red flag if you’ve been dating for a while and still need to figure out where you stand with him.
When uncertain about their feelings, they may avoid defining the relationship or discussing the future.
Whenever you try to discuss it with him, he hesitates; it’s a sign that they may not know what they want in the relationship.
#6: He has no desire to know about you or your life.
If he is uninterested in learning about your life, it may be a sign that he doesn’t see a future with you.
If a guy is into you, he will naturally want to know about your hopes, dreams, and daily experiences. If he doesn’t ask about your life or seems disinterested when you share information, it could be a red flag that he is not committed to the relationship.
This lack of interest can also be a sign of emotional distance. If he is not trying to get to know you on a deeper level, it may be a sign that he needs to know what he wants.
#7: He doesn’t anticipate anything from you
If your guy doesn’t seem invested in your relationship, it could be a sign that he doesn’t know what he wants.
This could manifest in various ways, such as not showing interest in meeting your friends or family. Not having any anticipation from you or even encouraging you to date other people.
It could also mean he’s comfortable with the current situation and is still deciding whether to take things to the next level.
#8: He Doesn’t Ask You Questions About Your Day
If a guy is into you, he will want to know more about your life. He will ask questions like “What did you do today?” or “How was work?” If he doesn’t ask these questions and instead talks about himself, he may not be interested in building a relationship with you.
When someone invests in a relationship and truly cares about their partner, they will naturally want to know more about their day, their feelings, and what they are going through.
If a guy is not asking you questions, it can mean he doesn’t see a future with you or is not committed to the relationship.
It can also mean he needs to put more effort into the relationship or be fully engaged.
#9: Prioritizes Friends Over You
When a man prioritizes his friends over you in a relationship, it can signify he doesn’t know what he wants.
You might have a great time together when you’re out with friends, but the next time he sees one of his buddies, he’ll put them above everything else. He won’t even think twice about canceling plans with you to go out with them instead.
If his friends come first, then chances are good that they’re going to keep him busy — and away from you.
Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash says this is a classic sign that a guy doesn’t know what he wants. “He’ll tell his friends when he meets the woman of his dreams, but not you,” she says.
You may think this is just a phase and that he’ll grow out of it. But if it’s been going on for a while and he doesn’t seem interested in changing, then it may be time to cut your losses and move on.
#10: He’s got far too many complications.
When a guy has too many complications in his life, it can be difficult for him to focus on a relationship and make it a priority.
This could mean he has a lot of personal issues to deal with, a hectic work schedule, or numerous other commitments that take up his time and energy.
As a result, he may need help to give the relationship the attention and effort it needs to thrive.
Suppose a guy needs to simplify his life and focus on the relationship. It may signify that he doesn’t know what he wants and may not be ready for a committed relationship.
#11: Attempts to Alter Your Personality
If your partner constantly tries to change who you are, it’s clear that they are not fully committed to the relationship. This behavior suggests they have an ideal partner in mind and are trying to mold you into that person.
When someone truly loves and accepts you, they will embrace your quirks, flaws, and unique qualities.
Is your partner constantly pushing you to change? It could mean they must be fully invested in the relationship and are still searching for what they want.
#12: He’s Never Free for You
A partner who is never available for you could sign that they don’t know what they want in the relationship.
It could also indicate that they have other priorities in their life and may not be fully committed to the relationship. If you constantly find yourself second to your friends or work schedule.
If they are unwilling to make time for you, it could mean they are not fully invested in the relationship. He may not see a future with you. This lack of effort and prioritization of others is a clear sign he doesn’t know what he wants.
What to do when he doesn’t know what he wants?
When a guy says he doesn’t know what he wants, it could impact your relationship and cause a lot of uncertainty.
It doesn’t always mean he doesn’t want to be with you. To help clarify things, sit down and discuss his options with him.
What he’s truly looking for in life. But it’s unlikely that he will suddenly become the partner you want him to be. Your best bet may be to move on from the relationship.
But if you’re not ready to let go, keep reading.
Tip #1: Ignite his hero instinct
Men have an innate drive to protect and provide for their loved ones. Tapping into this instinct can be a powerful tool to encourage them to commit.
Try to make him feel like he’s needed in your life to ignite his hero instinct. Show appreciation for the small things he does for you, and ask for his help and support in your own life.
By making him feel like a hero, he’ll see you as someone worth fighting for, and he may begin to realize what he truly wants in life.
Tip #2: Let Him Take the Time to Consider Things
Let him take the time to consider things. Sometimes, men need time to reflect and figure out their thoughts and emotions. It’s essential to understand that this doesn’t mean he don’t want to be with you but he needs time to think out what he wants.
In meantime relax and focus on yourself during this time. Engage in activities that bring you happiness, spend time with friends and family, and work on your personal goals.
Tip #3: Clarify Your Desires
It’s essential to clarify your desires. By reflecting on what you want from a relationship, you can communicate your needs and expectations to your partner.
Be honest with you and your partner about what you’re looking for in a relationship is essential.
Whether it be love, commitment, or simply companionship, having this clarity will also help you make an informed decision about whether or not this relationship is right for you.
Tip #4: Initiate a Relaxed Discussion With Him
Initiating a relaxed discussion with your partner is critical in addressing his uncertainty about his wants.
Start by asking open-ended questions, such as “What’s going on in your mind?” or “What are your thoughts about our relationship?” It will encourage him to share his feelings and thoughts, giving you a better understanding of the situation.
During the discussion, avoid blaming or accusing him; instead, focus on finding a solution together. Hear what he has to say and be empathetic towards his feelings.
Tip #5: Listen to Your Inner Voice
Listening to your inner voice is essential when dealing with a man who doesn’t know what he wants.
Your intuition can guide you toward the right decision and help you avoid potential heartache. If you’re feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship, take a step back and reflect on your desires and needs.
Ask yourself if this is the relationship you want and if he is fulfilling your emotional needs. Don’t be afraid to walk away if your inner voice tells you this relationship is unsuitable.
Tip #6: Mirror his behavior
Mirroring his behavior and communication style can create a sense of familiarity and make him feel understood.
It may lead to a more open and honest conversation, allowing him to feel comfortable discussing his doubts and fears with you.
What does it mean if he doesn’t know what he wants?
If he doesn’t know what he wants, it means that he’s not ready to settle down.
If you’re interested in him, then you should tell him that you’re not going to be around for much longer. Eventually you need him to make a decision about your relationship.
You must decide if a guy doesn’t know what he wants. Does she want to wait forever and not have any experience with other men or being in relationships? Or does she want to accept that he’s not ready for anything serious?
It can be frustrating when you’re really into a guy, but he won’t commit. You might feel like you’re wasting your time because you’re with him all the time, and he won’t let things go further than friendship.
How do you recognize if a guy is unsure of his feelings?
How do you recognize if a guy is unsure of his feelings? The following signs will show if he is unsure of his feelings:
- He keeps texting back and forth with other girls
- He keeps flirting with other girls
- He tries to avoid spending time with you
- He always has an excuse for not meeting up with you
If these signs show up often in his behavior, then it means that he might be confused about what his true feelings are towards you. And this could mean trouble for your relationship as well.
A guy who isn’t sure of his feelings is a difficult situation to be in. You can’t know for sure what he wants, but you can’t sit around and wait for him to figure it out.
In this situation, the best thing you can do is take things into your own hands and make your intentions known.
You might think he’ll wake up one day and realize he’s in love with you, but that doesn’t always happen. He could already have feelings for someone else or might be afraid of commitment for other reasons.
Final thoughts
Guys can be hard to read. Sometimes, we’re just not sure what they want, and that can make it tough to figure out if you’re in a relationship or not.
The truth is, there’s no surefire way to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you.
But if you’re experiencing these signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants, it might be time to have a serious talk with him.
If he’s not ready to commit, that’s okay. You don’t have to stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t right for you.
