Narcissists are charming, manipulative, and good at getting what they want. They can be hard to spot and even harder to get rid of.
But if you know what to look out for, it’s easier than you think. Here are 11 lies narcissists use to control the people around them.
Why Narcissist use lies to control you
Are you tired of being played by a narcissistic manipulator? Are you sick of falling for their lies and tricks?
Narcissists often use lies to control and manipulate their victims because it allows them to maintain power and control over the relationship.
By deceiving their victims, they can shape how the victim thinks and acts and keep them in a state of confusion and uncertainty.
Narcissists may also use lies to cover up their flaws and mistakes and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Ultimately, their use of lies is a way to serve their ego and maintain their sense of superiority.
But fear not! In this article, we’ll expose the most common lies that narcissists use to control and deceive their victims.
From “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it” to “You’re crazy, it’s all in your head,” we’ll reveal the tactics these sly characters use to keep you under their thumb.
So, join us as we take a deep dive into the twisted world of narcissist lies and arm yourself with the knowledge you need to outsmart these cunning predators.
Whether you’re currently in a toxic relationship or want to be prepared for the future, this article will provide a healthy dose of amusement and enlightenment.
#1: You are amazing
‘You are amazing. You are so beautiful. I love you.’ These are some of the most common things a narcissist will tell you to make you feel good about yourself and, ultimately, control you.
The truth is that they are only saying these things to manipulate and control, not because they care about your feelings or want to be with someone who makes them happy in any way, shape, or form.
The narcissist is willing to be cruel and hurtful to achieve personal gain. She doesn’t care about the feelings of others and will do whatever it takes to get what she wants, including saying hurtful things or making people feel bad.
This is often because she is focused on gaining power and control over other people’s emotions, particularly those of the person she is manipulating.
The narcissist is self-centered, only cares about herself, and will not hesitate to use tactics like emotional abuse to achieve her goals.
#2: You are a disappointment
There are many ways that a narcissist can make you feel like a disappointment, but the primary method is not to give you what they promised.
They will promise you anything and everything to get you to do what they want. Then, once they have your compliance, they will fail to deliver on those promises.
This is done deliberately as part of their manipulation tactics. They will make sure that your self-esteem takes a hit because then it’s easier for them to control you and keep doing whatever makes them happy (whether it’s at your expense).
Narcissists often break promises and may turn against those who helped or blame them for problems if things don’t go their way or if others become involved.
#3: ‘I will change.’
They will claim they will “change” and do better in the future. This is a lie that narcissists use to soothe you after they have been caught doing something wrong or hurtful.
Their words are empty because their actions say something else entirely, and it is unlikely that any fundamental changes will occur shortly.
If change were possible, then why would they be lying?
It is essential not to fall for these lies; instead, keep your eyes on how things unfold over time so that you can spot when someone has changed for real or if this was just another lie on the part of your narcissistic partner/friend/family member/coworker, etc.
#4: ‘I have never told a lie in my life.’
Narcissists are great liars. They lie to make themselves look good, they lie to avoid consequences, and they lie to get what they want.
Because of this, a narcissist can’t tell the truth about anything that makes them look bad or brings up uncomfortable feelings.
This means that every time you ask a question about something that happened, but you don’t like their answer (like if you’ve been hurt by something they said), you’ll get another lie instead of an honest explanation.
#5: ‘my ex was obsessed with me.’
The second lie narcissists tell is that the ex was obsessed with them. You see this in the relationship, or even after it ends when you feel like they were always trying to get a hold of your ex.
Narcissists will say someone else is obsessed with them to play the victim and cast themselves as a nice person being mistreated by someone who “can’t let go.” This is because they crave attention and admiration.
If you were involved with a narcissist, chances are, you know how much they love to play this game where they’ll claim someone else is crazy for getting upset at them or not respecting their boundaries.
In reality, though, your ex was probably not obsessed with you but just wanted some peace away from your toxic presence.
Narcissists also tend to be very insecure about themselves (despite all their bravado), which makes it hard for them to see any faults in their character or behavior without blaming others for causing these problems – especially if those people have rejected them first!
#6: ‘the breakup was your fault.’
It’s not hard to see why narcissists would use the Break Up to control you. After all, they will try to dominate your life before and after the relationship ends. But you must remember that narcissist is responsible for their problems—and they choose to blame others because they lack empathy, just like they lack other traits associated with being a healthy person!
Here are some examples of how this plays out:
- Narcissists may blame their unhappiness on you or your relationship (even if your relationship was great). They may say things like “If I hadn’t met you” or “I’m so unhappy because we broke up.” These statements are lies designed to make you feel guilty about ending things. Please don’t buy into them!
- Narcissists may use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for bad behavior when they’re addicted (and sometimes even while drunk/high). If this often happens enough in relationships with other people who aren’t narcs, it can lead them down an unhealthy path where drinking becomes an addiction rather than just something fun once in a while. So remember: If someone falls off-track during their drug habit every time there’s a conflict between two parties involved (like when one person gets angry), then maybe those substances aren’t really causing any problems at all…
#7: They lie about their job and earnings
Narcissists will lie about their jobs and earnings to make themselves look better. The reason for this is that they want to feel superior to you, which they do by making themselves seem like they’re doing better in life than you. It’s important to remember that narcissists live in an alternate reality, where everything looks great on paper but doesn’t really apply in real life.
To make matters worse, these lies can lead you to spend more time with them or do things for them because you want validation. For example, if a narcissist tells you he or she was promoted at work (and therefore made more money), they may ask for help paying bills or buying groceries—which can get expensive over time! So before agreeing to help out a potential narcissist: Do your research first!
#8: ‘I am busy.’
One of the lies they tell you is that they are busy. This can mean anything from work and friends to family and more. The truth is that they are often doing nothing at all but being lazy. Narcissists like to be seen as important people, and if you call them out on their lack of productivity, this could hurt their feelings or, worse, make them angry with you.
This means that when they say “I’m busy” what they really mean is “I don’t want to do anything right now.” They may also be trying to avoid spending time with YOU because you’re not important to me.
#9: ‘I’m Out with friends
While you’re at home, doing your laundry, cleaning the bathroom, or getting ready for work, narcissists are likely spending time with someone else. They may say they’re going out with friends, but the reality is that they are meeting up with an ex-lover or trying to find a new one. Narcissists will lie about where they are going in order to avoid being questioned about their whereabouts and what they’re doing there. The more suspicious you become of their whereabouts when they say, “I’m out with friends,” the more likely it is that this statement is false.
#10: ‘I’m just checking how you are doing
At the beginning of a relationship, you might get the feeling that your narcissist cares about you. They may ask how you are doing and genuinely feel concerned about your well-being. This is because they want to make sure they have control over every aspect of your life.
When they start controlling people, they like to know what their victims are up to at all times so they can anticipate their needs and figure out ways to manipulate them into doing things that benefit themselves.
This behavior is an attempt by the narcissist to maintain control over the relationship. If there are problems in the relationship (which is common), this could lead to serious issues for the narcissist later on.
This is often due to poor choices made during the courtship phase between people who shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place.
Narcissist uses manipulation and deceit to achieve their own goals, regardless of the impact on their partner. It’s important to recognize the signs of narcissistic manipulation and seek help if you’re in an abusive or toxic relationship.
#11: ‘My ex was evil.’
Narcissists are very protective of their image. They want to be seen as perfect and infallible. Therefore, they will try to isolate you from the rest of the world by making you believe that everyone else is out to get them.
The narcissist may tell you that your friends, family, or coworkers are jealous of them or even that they’re evil and manipulative.
They’ll tell you that these people don’t like them because they’re so successful and attractive/intelligent/etc. In reality, it’s because those people see through their false self-confidence and recognize their lies for what they are: crazy!
The narcissist will also try to convince you that he or she has been cheated on before by other significant others who were supposedly worse than him/herself (which means you must be better).
This makes sense because since this person thinks highly of himself/herself, anyone who doesn’t would obviously be inferior in every way possible—except maybe looks! And even then there’s only so much improvement one can do with plastic surgery before running into serious limitations.
But back on topic: The narcissist will try telling stories about previous lovers who were terrible people so that he or she appears more appealing than ever before–because being a bad person naturally makes someone better than good ones!
The narcissist will tell you anything to control you
Narcissists will tell you anything they think will help them control and manipulate you. Do not fall for their lies!
- They’ll say whatever they think is necessary to get what they want. Narcissists are master manipulators who use lies as a weapon in their arsenal of control tactics.
- They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear, even if it isn’t true. Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic when it suits them—they know that telling someone what they want to hear is an easy way to win over their trust and affection (and maybe get some action).
- They might even lie about things that aren’t important just to make themselves look good or manipulate situations in their favor. Narcissists are often insecure about certain topics or situations, but instead of admitting their real feelings about something, they may invent a story that paints them as the victim or hero in order to gain sympathy from others (and sometimes even themselves).
Final Thoughts
It is essential to be aware of the lies and manipulations that narcissists may use to control and deceive their victims.
You may hear these lies from your partner or anyone else who is abusive and manipulative. Remember that they are trying to control you by lying to you, so don’t believe them!
If they ever tell you something like this, remember that it’s all in their head and not real at all. So don’t let them fool you with their lies.
