28 Surprising Ways Dating a Narcissist Changes You

28 Surprising Ways Dating a Narcissist Changes You

Have you ever thought about how dating a narcissist can change you?

If you’re reading this, you might wonder if you’re currently dating a narcissist or dated one in the past.

Do you feel like you constantly need approval and validation from your partner, even if it means ignoring your own needs and desires?

It’s important to realize that being in a relationship with a narcissist can significantly impact your life.

Dating a narcissist can change you in negative (and some positive) ways.

By the end of this article, you’ll have a better understanding of how dating a narcissist can affect your self-worth and self-esteem.

How dating a narcissist changes you

Narcissists are known for their exquisite sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and tendency to manipulate and control those around them. 

Narcissists can be charming and charismatic at the beginning of a relationship. Still, their true colors may eventually reveal themselves through their demanding, controlling, and emotionally abusive behavior.

As you continue in a relationship with a narcissist, you may feel isolated, doubt your judgment and self-worth, and struggle with low confidence and self-esteem.

Now, let’s take a closer look at the 20 ways dating a narcissist can change you.

#1 Losing confidence and self-esteem: 

It is common for people who are in relationships with narcissists to lose confidence and self-esteem over time. Narcissists often belittle and criticize their partners, leading to a decline in self-confidence and self-esteem.

#2 Difficulty setting boundaries: 

Narcissists may manipulate and control their partners, making it difficult to set healthy boundaries.

Use gaslighting and other tactics to make you doubt your own perceptions and feelings, causing you to question whether or not you are justified in setting boundaries.

#3 Damage to mental health: 

A relationship with a narcissist can affect your mental health, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and depression.

Narcissistic individuals often engage in behaviors that can be harmful to their partners.

Some characteristics of narcissists include:

  • Constantly seeking attention and validation.
  • Failing to acknowledge their partner’s feelings and needs.
  • Engaging in gaslighting and other forms of manipulation.

#4 Feeling isolated: 

an isolated woman staring straight ahead , her hands lent on her face

Narcissists may try to cut their partners off from their friends and family to exert control and prevent them from seeking support from others.

This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Narcissists may also use gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and a lack of empathy to make their partners feel confused and deserted.

#5 Loss of sense of self: 

Losing a sense of self refers to disconnection or confusion about one’s identity, values, and beliefs.

In a relationship with a narcissist, the other partner often experiences changes in their sense of self.

Feeling uncertain and confused about who they are and what they want leading to a loss of sense of self.

#6 Difficulty making decisions: 

Narcissists may try to control every aspect of their partner’s life, making it difficult to make decisions independently.

They control their partners and make decisions for them, causing their partners to feel uncertain and indecisive.

They also manipulate their partners into doubting their own abilities and judgment. Causing them to second-guess themselves and feel unsure about their decision-making.

#7 Constant seeking of approval: 

Narcissists constantly seek validation and praise from their partners and may become upset if they do not receive it.

This constant seeking of approval can be emotionally draining for their partners and cause them to feel unable to meet the narcissist’s needs.

#8 Difficulty trusting others: 

It can be difficult for people in relationships with narcissists to trust others because of the narcissist’s manipulative and deceitful behaviors. Narcissists may lie, deceive, and gaslight their partners to get what they want, causing their partners to question their own perceptions and memories.

#9 Difficulty expressing emotions: 

a seeming disinterested and unexcited woman

Narcissists may focus more on their own needs and may not be attuned to their partners’ emotional states. This can cause their partners to feel like their emotions are not important and may lead to difficulty expressing them.

#10 Difficulty maintaining relationships: 

It can be difficult for people who are in relationships with narcissists to maintain relationships with others. This is because narcissists may try to isolate their partners and discourage them from spending time with friends and family.

They may also engage in behaviors that can be harmful or toxic to other relationships, such as lying, manipulation, or infidelity.

#11 Low self-worth: 

Low self-worth is a feeling of inadequacy or unworthiness. It can be caused by various factors, such as negative experiences, criticism, or failure.

In a relationship with a narcissist, a person may experience low self-worth due to the narcissist’s criticism, lack of validation, and manipulation. Narcissists may belittle and criticize their partners, causing them to feel inadequate and unworthy.

#12 Difficulty communicating: 

It can be difficult for people in relationships with narcissists to communicate effectively because narcissists may not listen to or validate their partners’ thoughts and feelings. They may also engage in behaviors that can disrupt healthy communication, such as lying, manipulation, or gaslighting.

#13 Difficulty with intimacy: 

Intimacy can be challenging for individuals who are in relationships with narcissists.

The narcissist’s lack of consideration for their partner’s emotional needs and tendency to prioritize their desires.

Additionally, narcissistic individuals may engage in behaviors that can damage intimacy, such as infidelity or withholding emotional support.

#14 Difficulty with assertiveness: 

People in relationships with narcissists may struggle with being assertive because the narcissist might try to control them and discourage them from expressing their own needs.

The narcissist may also use gaslighting or emotional manipulation tactics to undermine the partner’s assertiveness.

#15 Difficulty with forgiveness: 

a banner stating "unforgiven"

It can be difficult for people in relationships with narcissists to forgive them because narcissists may not take responsibility for their actions and may not acknowledge the harm they have caused. They may also engage in behaviors that can be difficult to forgive, such as infidelity or abuse.

#16 Difficulty with self-care: 

People in relationships with narcissists may have difficulty taking care of themselves. This is because narcissists often put their own needs first and don’t support their partner’s self-care efforts. 

Narcissists may also engage in behaviors that can harm their partner’s well-being, like emotional manipulation or abuse. This makes it even harder for their partner to prioritize self-care.

#17 Loss of independence: 

In a relationship with a narcissist, a person may experience a loss of independence due to the narcissist’s controlling behavior. Narcissists may try to make decisions for their partners and discourage them from making their own decisions.

This can cause their partners to feel like they have lost their independence and may make it difficult for them to feel confident in their decision-making.

#18 Damage to self-image:

People may have a negative view of themselves because of how narcissists treat them in the relationship. The narcissist may criticize and belittle their partner, leading the partner to feel incompetent and unworthy.

The narcissist may also manipulate their partner into doubting their abilities and judgment, causing them to feel uncertain about their own value. These actions can harm the person’s self-image and overall mental and emotional well-being.

#19 Difficulty with decision-making: 

A relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining. It may cause a person to feel too exhausted or overwhelmed to make decisions. This can make it hard for them to make decisions and negatively affect their sense of self and independence.

#20 Difficulty with trust: 

a solved puzzle except with "trust" part left out

People in relationships with narcissists may find it hard to trust them due to their tendency to lie, deceive, and manipulate to get what they want.

The narcissist may also betray their partner’s trust through infidelity or other actions, further damaging trust in the relationship.

If you have been in dating with a narcissist, you have likely experienced some of the negative effects listed above.

It is important to note that dating a narcissist can negatively impact your mental health and overall well-being. 

However, some individuals may experience some positive changes due to being in a relationship with a narcissist. 

How dating a narcissist changes you positively

Here are 8 potential ways dating a narcissist may positively change you.

#1 Increased self-awareness: 

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can lead to increased self-awareness, which can be a positive outcome.

A person may experience increased self-awareness due to the challenges they face in the relationship.

Being in a toxic or manipulative relationship can force a person to confront their own boundaries, values, and coping mechanisms and can lead to increased self-awareness.

#2 Improved communication skills:

 Improved communication skills refer to an increase in the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively and to listen and understand the perspectives of others.

In a relationship with a narcissist, a person may experience an improvement in their communication skills as a result of the challenges they face in the relationship.

#3 Increased resilience: 

Increased resilience is the ability to recover from difficult situations and adapt to change.

It can be gained through personal development or by experiencing difficult experiences. In a relationship with a narcissist, a person may become more resilient because of the challenges they face. Being in a toxic or manipulative relationship may lead a person to find ways to cope and find inner strength, resulting in increased resilience.

#4 Greater empathy: 

woman keeping hand's on a woman shoulder as a sign of empathy

Increased empathy means being more understanding and able to share the feelings of others. It can be developed through personal growth or by facing difficult experiences.

A person may have increased empathy in a relationship with a narcissist because of the challenges they face.

Being in a toxic or manipulative relationship may cause a person to become more attuned to their own emotions and the emotions of others, leading to increased empathy.

#5 Improved decision-making skills:

Improved decision-making skills are the ability to make good decisions that are well thought out.

They can be developed through personal growth or by facing difficult experiences. A person may have improved decision-making skills in a relationship with a narcissist.

Being in a toxic or manipulative relationship may cause a person to become more aware of their own values and boundaries and make decisions that align with those values, leading to improved decision-making skills.

#6 Increased self-worth: 

Increased self-worth can be a positive outcome of being in a relationship with a narcissist because it can be developed through personal growth and development.

Being in a toxic or manipulative relationship can force a person to confront boundaries, values, and coping mechanisms and find strength within themselves. This process of self-reflection and self-discovery can lead to an increase in self-worth.

#7 Improved self-care habits: 

Improved self-care habits are an increase in the practice of activities that support physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

These activities can include exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and taking time for relaxation and leisure.

In a relationship with a narcissist, a person may have improved self-care habits because of the challenges they face.

Being in a toxic or manipulative relationship may be emotionally draining and lead a person to prioritize self-care to maintain their well-being.

#8 Greater independence:

After leaving a narcissistic relationship, it is common for people to feel a sense of increased independence.

This may be because they are no longer in a toxic or manipulative environment and can make their own decisions and rely on themselves for fulfillment and happiness.

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you have likely experienced some of the negative effects listed above.

Final Thoughts

By now, you know how dating a narcissist can change you.

Dating a narcissist can have a significant impact on your life. Narcissists are known for being manipulative, controlling, and exploiting others.

Being involved with a narcissist can damage your self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and overall emotional well-being.

However, it is possible to gain personal growth and development from these experiences. You may have learned valuable skills such as setting healthy boundaries, identifying and avoiding manipulative behavior, or standing up for yourself in difficult situations.

Even though a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, learning and growing from this dating experience is possible.

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