Are you an old supply of a narcissist and wondering how they treat you now?
Many people who have been in a relationship with a narcissist. Often face the same confusion and hurt when trying to understand their behavior toward their old supply.
This article will provide 8 useful insights to help you make sense of the situation and take the necessary steps to move on.
What is Narcissistic Supply?
Narcissists are driven by a constant need for admiration, praise, and status – this is known as a narcissistic supply. While everyone wants to feel special, narcissists have a never-ending hunger for more and more supply, like a drug addict searching for their next fix.
So, how do narcissists treat their former sources of supply? The answer lies in their current state of mind and their need for supply. If they believe that you can provide the supply they crave, they will manipulate and control you to get it.
However, if they’ve found a new source that they believe is better, you are left with nothing – they’ll treat you with contempt or completely ignore you.
It is essential to understand the concept of narcissistic supply and how it shapes relationships with narcissistic individuals. Only then can you grasp the full extent of its influence over their behavior.
Narcissistic supply comes in two forms: primary and secondary:
The Primary Narcissistic Supply
This supply type comes from external sources, such as strangers, acquaintances, or fans. Narcissists seek this form of attention through various means, including sexual conquest, making connections in their careers, or even criminal acts. For them, all forms of attention are good attention, even negative publicity or criminal punishment.
The Secondary Narcissistic Supply
This type of supply comes from the people the narcissist regularly interacts with, such as their partner, friends, neighbors, or coworkers. These people sustain narcissism by showering them with praise and admiration.
A narcissistic parent may demand constant approval from their child. If the child fails to provide this, they may face the parent’s wrath. This can result in a one-sided relationship where the child is constantly seeking the parent’s approval.
It’s important to note that, for the narcissist, both primary and secondary sources are expendable over time. The narcissist does not have the emotional capacity to care about their supply as individuals, only as sources to be drawn upon when necessary.
How do narcissists treat old supply after a breakup?
#1: They may try to hoover or reconnect
Narcissists may try to reconnect with their old supply, often through “hoovering.” Their need for supply often fuels this temporary attempt to reestablish a relationship.
However, these efforts usually don’t last long, and the narcissist will quickly return to their abusive behavior. For example, a narcissistic ex-partner may reach out and express their love and remorse, only to turn around and insult and degrade the old supply shortly after.
#2: They may devalue or gaslight the old supply
Narcissists may also devalue or gaslight their old supply to retain control and power. It can take the form of questioning the old supply’s memories, twisting their words, or making them feel like they’re going crazy. For example, a narcissistic boss may criticize an employee’s work, then turn around and claim that the criticism was just constructive feedback.
#3: They often use old supplies as backup or secondary sources of supply
They may devalue or gaslight the old supply. Often use old supply as backup or secondary sources of supply. Narcissists may make false promises to old supply.
Usually, they rarely show genuine remorse or apologize. It is likely to repeat similar patterns with the old supply. Narcissists will never change their behavior towards the old supply. They may publicly shame or humiliate them.
#4: They may make false promises to the old supply
Narcissists may make false promises to their old supply, such as promising to change or never to hurt them again.
These promises are usually made to manipulate the old supply into returning, but they rarely follow through. For example, a narcissistic partner may promise to be more supportive but continue to belittle and criticize their old supply.
#5: They rarely show genuine remorse or apologize
Narcissists rarely show genuine remorse or apologize for their actions toward their old supply. Any apologies given are usually insincere and made only to manipulate the old supply into staying. For example, a narcissistic parent may apologize for neglecting their child but prioritize their own needs above their child’s.
#6: They are likely to repeat similar patterns with old supply
Narcissists tend to repeat similar patterns with their old supply, including patterns of abuse and manipulation. It means the old supply can expect equal treatment if they return to the relationship. For example, a narcissistic ex-partner may continuously abuse and manipulate the old supply, even after multiple attempts to reconcile.
#7: They may publicly shame or humiliate the old supply
Narcissists may publicly shame or humiliate their old supply, often as a way to discredit them and maintain control. It can spread rumors, criticize the old supply in front of others, or expose their personal information. A narcissistic coworker, for instance, may sabotage an ex-colleague’s reputation by spreading rumors, leading to a loss of respect among their peers.
#8: They will never change their behavior towards old supply
Finally, it’s important to remember that narcissists’ behavior towards their old supply will never change. Their only value in relationships is what they can gain from others, and they are incapable of forming genuine, healthy relationships.
Moving forward and focusing on your own well-being is the best way to heal from this abuse
. For example, a victim of narcissistic abuse may choose to cut ties and seek therapy to recover from the toxic relationship rather than trying to hold onto or reconcile with the narcissistic individual.
What happens when a narcissist meets a new supply? How do they treat the old supply?
The way a narcissist treats their old supply after they’ve found a new one varies depending on the individual, but generally, they tend to devalue and discard their old supply.
This is because their excitement and affection towards their old supply have faded, and they can no longer provide the same narcissistic supply.
Narcissists need constant attention and admiration to maintain their self-importance and ego. As a result, when the old supply becomes less desirable, the narcissist will start to devalue them to control them and get more supply.
However, eventually, even this tactic fails, and the narcissist has to discard their old supply and move on to a new source.
It’s important to note that not all narcissists will treat their old supply similarly, as everyone’s experiences and relationships are unique. But, in general, the old supply is seen as disposable to the narcissist once a new supply source has been found.
How to tell if a Narcissist has a new supply?
Recognizing when a narcissist has moved on to a new source of supply can be difficult, but it’s essential to be aware of the signs.
One key problem that victims of narcissistic abuse often face is being constantly manipulated and controlled by narcissist, who seeks to maintain their power and control over their sources of supply.
To help identify when a narcissist has moved on to a new supply, here are some key indicators to look out for:
- They suddenly become less available and attentive toward you.
- They become distant and dismissive of your feelings and concerns.
- They start to ignore your calls and messages.
- They display a new excitement and positivity that seems out of character.
- They become more focused on their appearance and grooming.
- They start to show excessive affection towards someone new.
- They begin to criticize and belittle you more frequently.
- They may start to threaten or intimidate you into controlling you.
By understanding these signs, you can better understand a narcissistic individual’s behavior and make informed decisions about your own well-being.
When the narcissist goes back to the old supply?
When a narcissist returns to an old source of supply, it is usually because their current source does not give them the attention and validation they crave. Or because they feel like they have no other options. In some cases, they may have even exhausted all other sources of supply.
Upon returning to an old source, the narcissist will try to rekindle the relationship and regain control. They may shower the old source with attention and gifts and try to manipulate them back into their control. However, this process is often short-lived, and the relationship will again deteriorate as the narcissist grows frustrated and begins to devalue the old source.
It is important to note that returning to an old supply source does not necessarily mean the narcissist truly cares for the person. It is simply a desperate attempt to satisfy their need for a narcissistic supply.
Does the narcissist treat the new supply better?
The narcissist treats the new supply better, with more attention, affection, and positive reinforcement. The narcissist is in a honeymoon phase, genuinely excited and brimming with affection toward their new partner. They are receiving new supplies, which they crave to maintain their self-esteem and ego.
However, as time passes and the infatuation fades, the new supply becomes less desirable to the narcissist.
They may resort to devaluing and controlling their partner to get more of their needed supply. Eventually, this tactic may fail, and the narcissist will discard their partner and look for a new supply source.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, it’s important to understand their behavior towards former partners (old supply).
You may feel confused about your past relationship, but this understanding can help you move forward. Narcissists lack genuine emotions and seek constant attention.
Narcissists follow similar patterns in relationships, starting with a honeymoon phase but eventually devaluing their partner.
They then move on quickly to a new source of supply. They may return to old supply if they run out of options or miss control.
You may feel a mix of hope and confusion. Remember, narcissists can’t form healthy relationships. To heal, focus on yourself and move forward instead of trying to reconcile.
